Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
