dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
