Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
