She said her name was "party"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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