You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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