Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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