69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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