He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
