my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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