Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
