Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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