Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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