I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
