I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
