i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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