Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
