I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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