I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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