Got a toothbrush?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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