TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
