i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
God I need to hump something, right now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
