I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
