I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
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Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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