I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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