We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
