last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
