Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
