He asked me if I "almost moaned"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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