We're like a lot better than the average bears
I CAN MOONWALK!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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