awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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