Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
