This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
