I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
