ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
