And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think your dad took our porno
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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