I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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