Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
