For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
