Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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