Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
