Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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