..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
