I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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