I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
