you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
