This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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