If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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