So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
