i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
