Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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