Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
