she was so not down for the gang bang
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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