Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
