so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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