Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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