And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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