No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
