used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
