You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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