oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
