How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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