I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
