she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
