Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
