Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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